The lesson I have to keep learning in this lifetime is that I am in charge of creating my own joy, even when life is throwing frustrating and anxiety-inducing things at me.
This past year has dealt me Tower card after Tower card: a breakup, moving to a new state where I know no one but my parents, ongoing tax issues, the death of my grandma, a health scare, plus my constant companions – chronic back pain and a lack of clarity in my brain.
Grieving, confusion, anxiety, loneliness; I’ve felt it all without much space for air this year.
I keep waiting for it all to thaw out. I ask the big, wide universe to write me into a new chapter, to make me feel like a whole human being, to bring me the joy that I know I (and everyone else) deserve.
But just when I think I can finally rest, another problem hits. I wonder what karmic debt I need to repay in this lifetime. Am I being punished in some way? Or am I just a human being experiencing a lot all at once?
The thing is that if I sit around waiting for the moment that life finally feels perfect, I will constantly miss opportunities to experience joy, laughter, connection, and pleasure.
On the days when I find myself saying, “I will finally be happy when this chapter of my life closes“, I know instead that I need to seek out small ways to experience joy.
And I have to provide it for myself instead of waiting for someone else to give it to me. The longer I wait for others to offer me my dreams on a silver platter, the longer I deny myself my dreams.
So what is joy? What is happiness?
It can be the smallest thing.
I think about what foods, music, activities, movies, places, scents, and colors I’m drawn to.
I ask what makes me feel good.
And then I see if I can experience any of those things today.
The thing about me is that I am persistent. I am willing to fight (albeit in a peaceful way) when challenges come my way.
Sometimes I hate how isolating this human experience is, yet I still want to experience it.
And that is why I have to find the joy that I can, whenever I can, because I don’t want my days, my personality, and my life to be characterized by wishing things were different.
The lesson I have to keep learning is that I cannot wait until life is perfect to feel worthy of experiencing joy.
Instead, I must continue showing up and creating that joy for myself.
12 Responses
Hi, I am a Kenyan and has subscribed to the bliss mind after reading the encouraging, inspiring articles and advise that you give, kindly continue with the the good work and be blessed. You have have helped many souls Catherine!
Regards
Thomas Sembe
Hi Catherine. I’m glad Chat GPT recommended your blog. It’s really hard these days to find a real person who writes a blog as a journal and reflection. Please keep writing because, for me, reading someone’s reflections on a blog feels more intimate than reading them on social media. It’s like you are invited to their home instead of chit-chatting in a cafe.
Hi Catherine!
I had a quite similar year with lots of changes: two heartbreaks, moving to new city where I new no one but my parents, chronic back pain & anxieties and the most unexpected one: a lay-off.
I felt completely rejected & punished by God at times :D
Like verything was taken away from me and I was left with nothing.
So I had to learn every time from scratch to find my back home to myself. Finding joy in the smallest things (like you beautifully described). Looking back I levelled up big time in self-love & faith.
Right now, I’m super excited for the new year to come with all the amazing possibilities that can now enter my life :)
I wish you all the best—continue creating that joy for yourself. For a more aligned, empowered & happy life! <3
Your way of approaching joy is excellent. Finding joy in little things will also adds meaning to life.
I Am glad you’re still here.
Sincerely
Marcella
This was such a lovely read! It’s so refreshing to reflect on the lessons learned and look forward to the growth ahead. 🌿 C Thanks for sharing your wisdom! 😊
What a great read, thank you for sharing! It’s better to take it head on than to run away from it. We have only one life to live and I want to make sure I feel joy every day.
Wow, this really resonated with me. Life can be really hard but I love the idea of focusing on small things that bring joy. For me, today, my small thing that brought me joy was my working on my kawaii drawing skills just for fun. Thank you for this beautiful post!
I can really relate to what you’re saying. Last year, I also went through a tough period: my father was hospitalized, and I felt completely lost and isolated. What helped me start to heal was focusing on simple joys—like taking walks, cooking, or even small acts of self-care. Even though the problems didn’t disappear, finding those little moments for myself brought a bit of brightness back into my life.
Hi Catherine, I really enjoyed reading this blog post. Your words have shown me a new perspective on how to find happiness, and I love it. Last year I was going through a rough time, and I have always wondered of different ways to find joy even when times are tough. The idea of having to focus on finding your own happiness instead of waiting for it to be given to you is very moving. I love your work!
This blog entry was a lot of fun to read. I adore how your words have given me a fresh outlook on happiness.